The Mayan calendar marks today as the official end of days. So before the asteroids, earthquakes, firestorms and wrath of the gods take their toll, The Screaming O wants to remind you all that if you’re going to go, you might as well go out with an O!
This doomsday, put the ‘O’ in ap-O-calypse with one (or all!) of The Screaming O’s vibrating rings, mini vibes, and sexy accessories and celebrate life with a romp or three. We’ve carefully selected five of our most popular sex toys that will come in handy should you find yourself in the thick of Armageddon and want to go out with a bang!
1. BigO Glow – This super-stretchy ring will give him a stronger, harder erection and stimulate her with a powerful vibrating motor so both parties get what they need before the sun explodes. And with a bright LED light connected to the motor, you can use your BigO Glow to light the way as your run for cover and turn it to flash mode to increase your chances of being rescued once the world goes dark.
2. Bullet Buddies – In case you’re seeking a friend for the end of the world, our Bullet Buddies will keep you company and satisfy whatever desires arise as the final countdown begins. Each mini bullet vibrator comes in a cute animal shape – your spirit animal, if you will – and bright colors to lighten the mood. Plus they’re whisper quiet so your new Buddy will keep you company as you stay safe and sound in your secret hiding spot.
3. LingO – This stretchy vibrator is made to be worn around your tongue to make oral sex fun, easy and go down fast! And in case she grows tired of cunnilingus you can wear the LingO around your finger for quick-change versatility that even MacGyver would envy. Plus, in case the world ends up being taken over by aliens, the LingO’s oral buzz might help you communicate with new life forms. Best to be prepared for anything, right?
4. MasteRing – The MasteRing feaures a bullet vibrator secretly operated by a remote control cleverly disguised as a finger ring, letting you play with yourself (or new friends) from up to 50 feet away in case he or she is out of reach. Plus you can use the MasteRing Bullet to distract intruders – just one touch and you can send potential enemies running in the opposite direction to find out where that mystery buzzing sound is coming from.
5. Screaming O Condom Pack – The Screaming O Condom Pack has a vibrating ring, latex condom, and lube in each portable kit so you can have safe – yet still satisfying! – sex while you wait for the world to end. They’re small enough to keep in your pocket as you run from bunker to bunker and, just in case you wake up Dec. 22 to find the sun still shining and birds still chirping, you won’t have to worry about the previous night’s sexual choices causing your own personal apocalypse.